I had just asked this new acquaintance of mine (I would like to call him a friend, but have not known him for that long), his thoughts about the Steelers, as in Pittsburgh. He’s from western Pennsylvania and, as he is now living in eastern Massachusetts, thought this would be a good way to strike up a lively conversation and, ultimately, get to know one another a little better.

It did just that, but in a way that I had not expected. He proceeded to respond that he could not – expletives deleted for the sake of children in the room and probably also a few innocent adults – care less about the Steelers and football.

A few years ago – more than 15 but short of 20 – his best friend, a decorated Vietnam War vet, took a 50-caliber handgun to his head and shattered his brains across a nondescript room in a small town in Forrest County. He had been with this person – his very best friend – the night before.

I don’t like to use the word very often, but here the word applies. They just didn’t hang out together; they were always together, like brothers, but even more so. When someone saw them on the streets of the town where they grew up, if they saw one but not the other, they would ask where the other one was. He was always close by. Blood did not bind them. It was deeper than that. It was gristle, it was bone, it was love.

“I have a hard time thinking about anything as insignificant as sports, as football, and all the money the athletes make,” my new acquaintance says. He has never forgotten his buddy, or forgiven himself for not being able to recognize – and possibly preventing – what happened that night many Decembers ago.

There is no pity in this man. He is not looking for comfort, for understanding, or a shoulder.

On the night when we were selling Christmas trees together, he had drifted off to an area a short distance away to answer a call on his cell phone. After about 20 minutes, I heard him say, “Love you, too, son,” and end the conversation.

His heart has been hardened but he has not lost his capacity for love, nor his great spirit. I hope someday he will also call me friend.